Sunday, 25 November 2012

140 Characters

This post is dedicated to everyone who has caught real feelings on twitter. Cheers!

140 characters was all It took for me to love you. 140 characters reminded me of how much reading your timeline is the highlight of my day.
140 characters lead my heart to you, in the most unlikely situations where my day takes a different turn; all I need to do is read your 140 characters. Some days they are less and some days they are more, but I still fall in love with it.
I still remember searching for your handle, I still remember zooming out on your avatar and going through your pictures, how I kept telling myself I have found the right person to connect with. I won’t lie, I fell for your beauty but I fell in even more after I read your 140 characters.
It is funny how I can feel this way about someone I have not physically met but I feel close to you with your 140 characters. Every tweet, every retweet. Though we are many miles apart, but my heart is connected to you, your 140 characters.
I find myself waking up in the middle of the night just to bask in your 140 characters, my very own obsession. Sneaking my phone into meetings just to browse through the series of your 140 characters, in church while the service is going on scrolling through your TL, reading every word of your 140 characters, acting like I am concentrating on my mobile bible or taking notes down, monitoring your TL, making sure our 140 characters can relate to each other. 140 characters.
In the words of Keisha white’s song “weakness in me”… to you I gave my affection right from the start. You got my heart on lockdown with your 140 characters.
Some days it feels like we are having conversations, your 140 characters meets up with my 140 characters in the middle. We don’t mention each other but it feels like our 140 characters are talking.
I know how crazy it sounds; I know how surreal it feels. This is not real but my heart skips many beats whenever I read your 140 characters.
Your 140 character that is a reflection of you and your ever so beautiful mind.
I get to know how you are feeling, how your day is going, I get to interact with your mind implicitly.
When I am in the midst of people, I find myself checking for new updates on your 140 characters. Listening to my favorite song and reading your 140 characters, even when I log off, I sign in back just because I need to see your 140 characters.
“I am lost without you, I can’t help myself”. My world is centered on your 140 characters. Your 140 characters are funny, real, heart felt, naughty, true, facts and sometimes just bants but I can relate to them at any level.
140 characters, who would have thought mere words can make a mortal wish for immortality, A chance to read your 140 characters forever.
I really want to reply to your 140 characters by telling you how I feel but I fear you may misunderstand my intentions. Stories of people trying to get it with 140 characters, setting p’s, leaving heartbreaks behind, playing with emotions. I just want to know if by any chance, my 140 characters and your 140 characters can add up and make 143.
140 characters define how I feel for you, I don’t need to write you a long love letter, 140 characters are just enough.
140 characters left my love speechless, if only you could hear the harmony my heartbeat sings to the thoughts of you.
I get jealous sometimes when I read other tweets where your handle is mentioned. Where, out of the goodness of your heart you reply also. I wish I was bold enough to say exactly how you make me feel, what you do to me, how you affect me, how you make my earth shake, how often I read your 140 characters and go breathless.
I hope to be more than 140 characters to you and if that happens, I pray we never forget how we started, 140 characters.

Friday, 16 November 2012

Russian Standard & Oriental

I couldn’t stop thinking about my last encounter with Russian standard and oriental. A lot of people wouldn’t get the aforementioned statement.
It all started at a party I attended, that night as always I had a fight with my off and on ex, I needed a fix. No alcohol in the house and I was mad furious. A beep on my phone “dude, I am celebrating my birthday at steam bar, Hilton Paddington.. You should come through”. After hours of contemplating, I decided to head to steam bar. The place was packed full, beautiful ladies everywhere, mostly black girls. Screaming, dancing in cliques, holding champagne flutes, truly this was a sight to behold. And so my wild night began, drinking heavily like I was running away from monsters. At 1am, totally buzzed, I decided to check on my ex, drunken text her with words, I held back for a bit and decided to stalk her a bit on twitter to check what she as up to, her TL left me shocked. She was having a great time, she kept retweeting a handle, lewd tweets, and they kept flirting back and forth. Shii, I was about to get jealous, still drunk, I tried to make my way back to the table my friend had paid for, In that attempt I knocked over a bottle of champagne. The girls on the table didn’t look furious too drunk to notice, I apologized and offered to buy another bottle. Two out of the 5girls on the table declined. And then I heard one say, she wanted to dance and she thought I was cute. So I obliged, it was the least I could do. I started dancing with her, half way she started putting moves on me I can only assume she had black heritage. Moving her hips, for a Chinese girl; she had a nice ass, softer than a cushion. Shout out to Vybtz Kartel “one man”. The song came and everything went wild, this felt like soft porn. No penetration, grinding, nibbling. In Jamie fox words “blame it on the alcohol”. That moment where I thought it was enough, her friend joined in. and they started dancing, and just like that they kissed. My dick was going to jump out of my chinos pants. Was any of this possible? What made it even hot was the fact that I was sure I was not going home with these girls, so I might as well enjoy the view. Almost 2am, the club became too loud. I needed to go home. I went out to get a cab, whilst I was outside calling a cab, the Asian girl came out as well, walked over to me and kissed me. I stood there puzzled. Her friend came out and whilst I was still in shock, she kissed me too. A lot of chitchat and we decided to share a cab. Nothing good ever happens after 2am, I kept hearing that in my head. We got to their apartment, I got invited in, I should have said no but I have good manners so I went in
We talked a little more and it was only then I found out Kim, the Chinese girl was a model and her friend Dina was an art student from Russia. We started drinking again, In between conversations; I could have sworn someone suggested we take a shower. Nothing good happens after 2am, I agreed. Here I was, in the middle of 2 beautiful women, getting clean and STARING. Shower time was over, we got out, I stayed back to dry off, I just started drying myself with a towel when I heard one of the girls moan loud. This was it; I made my way to the bedroom and what I saw was like a scene from porn. Girl on girl, they kissed passionately. Wrapped in each other’s arm.
I stood there frozen. I needed to watch how this was going to end. Kim was in control, kissing Dina from her lips to her neck and then her nipples to her abdomen, while her hands roamed freely on Dina’s body. Dina kept moaning and saying the word “bolshe”, I don’t know what that means but it sounded sexy.
Kim kept at it, gently kissing Dina already soaked buju box with her tongue teasing the sugared almond, Dina screamed some more while I stood there frozen, the only time I moved was to get a closer view. Dina pushed Kim head in deeper, she was about to cum and Kim didn’t stop. Dina looked pleased and she planned on getting her revenge. They both looked at me and commanded me to just watch. I dropped the towel long time ago, so…… ok. Dina told Kim to sit on her face and Kim did that with no hesitation. Have you ever been to an opera where the fat lady sings in a deafening voice? I just had front row seats to that. Kim kept grinding on Dina’s face, Dina supported Kim’s ass on her face. Kim bent backwards, stretched her hands, located Dina’s fanny and started digging deep, occasionally showing off her DJ skills, “rrrrrrrrrrrr rrrrrrrrrrrrrr” fingers in rotary motion. I stood there watching this.
Kim came on Dina’s face so hard she kept shaking for a while. They looked at me and smiled, this is pure torture.
Dina still on the bed, Kim got off her face and assumed a position I can only describe to be where two-lunch box collide against its axis AKA “tribbing”. I watched as Kim kept grinding her bottom lips on Dina’s soaked fanny hole. She held on to Dina’s leg, pushing down hard and grinding some more. Sounds of the opera. Speaking different languages, it felt like I was at a world summit. I could not take it any more so I walked over to the bed; I put my cock in Dina’s mouth as I listened to her mumble words from moaning and sucking on my dick. I dubbed her the cock whisperer. Deep throating and gagging at the same damn time. Kim was grinding, Dina was cock whispering and I just stood there, an attentive audience, listening to every sound. Kim screamed she was about to cum, Dina with the dick in mouth mumbled some words, I closed my eyes and all I felt were wet fingers pinching my nipples. I pushed in deep, Dina gagged, I closed her nostrils with my fingers by pressing the two nostrils against each other, she gagged some more, eyes widened looking at me. They both came hard, breathing heavily. I took my dick out and smiled, now the show was about to start. Kim laid flat on the bed; Dina unwrapped a condom and placed it over my dick. I was going to fuck Kim in the worst way. I spread Kim’s legs open, teased her sugared angered almond with the shaft of my cock, she begged I put it in but I refused, I needed to taste her first. Got down on my knees and buried my head in between her knees, I didn’t speak Russian or Chinese but I was going to give her afrobeats fusion. I kissed her thighs, they were warm and soft. She sighed, I can see her pages turn, they are open. I lick her rose buds, tasting her sweet nectar and applying some from her yonny to her feisty pink punk. I blow warm air on and Kim moans some more. I can hear Dina swearing a lot in her thick accent, I lick her clit and blow warm air again, Kim grabs my head and attempts to push me in more, but instead of painting her yonny with my tongue, I airbrush it instead. She moans again, cursing me. I stopped, raise my head and smile. I kiss her thighs again and repeat the same process, airbrushing my masterpiece, dip my tongue in and then move in circles on our feisty friend. She is shaking; fingers are buried in my hair/head. Her screams urge me on, so I decide to tell a story with my tongue as a pen and her clit as the paper. I titled it the “amalgamation of the buds”, I even drew a map on how to find the lost city of Atlantis, Kim is on the loose now. She attempts to strangle me with the grip of her thighs but I keep telling my story, I go deaf for a bit but she keeps shaking, her butt cheeks are raised, thighs tightened their grip, she was about to cum and then I stop. Fuck, fuck you! Was all she said. I was not done. I started kissing her lips again and then my finger found her wet warm yonny, I put two fingers inside her; she munched down on my lips. I stopped kissing, my eyes are roaming around the room looking for Dina, and then I saw her coming towards us. With a strap on, noooooooooooooooooo. Whatever she planned had better not include me, to my surprise she walked towards Kim’s mouth and Kim sucked on the strap on hard. With my fingers still inside her, I applied pressure on her lower abdomen whilst rubbing my finger against the upper roof of her fanny walls, making the “come here “ gesture with my finger, slowly and then I speed things up a bit while watching her suck on the strap on Dina was wearing. I can feel her walls tighten up a bit, she stops sucking on the strap on, tried pulling away but that failed then she asked to be excused, she needed to pee, I refuse to let go. She squirts on the sheets, everywhere is messy. This was cue to fuck them. Dina takes off the strap on. They assume the doggy position; I fuck them both, taking turns. Brandishing their fanny with my signature moves, long rough strokes, biting, pulling their hair, and spanking their butts till it turned red. While watching Dina’s ass bounce as i ram in every inch of my hard cock, Kim puts on the strap on and Dina starts sucking on it. Wow! I stop fucking Dina and asked Kim to fuck Dina instead, holding my cock in my hand, I watch how Kim brutalize the only dignity Dina held to her name. Kim slapped Dina, choked her and fucked her some more while I watched, grinning with pleasure.
Dina cums, then I cum in Dina’s mouth, she shares the spunk with Kim. I watch in amazement.
It is 8am in the morning, before I leave we share a cocktail of Russian standard with cranberry juice and chicken satay/curry sauce.
On my way home, i smiled to myself. I literally had vodka and chinese.

Wednesday, 7 November 2012

The Truth

They say losing a loved one is the most hurtful experience to ever go through and i strongly agree. They say it gets easy with time but it never does, time makes it even hard to deal with their absence. They say we need to be strong, how do we even do that when all we are left with are memories of them. It never gets easy, the fact that we know we may never see them again.... Makes us regret not spending enough time with them when they were alive. We recount those moments where we were too busy with other things in our lives to even check up on them, those moments where they call us and we are too busy to call them back, those moments where we plan on how we intend on taking time off to see them... We are just left with regrets, it is too late to even right that but some people don't even get the chance to have such regrets, all they are left with is the piercing pain, they never expected to lose a loved one. Life is so precious and yet so fragile, no one is guaranteed tomorrow but we only stay alive by Gods grace. Regrets or not, moments filled with what could have been, no one is ever prepared to lose a loved one. We are forever left with a memory of them, activities, places, songs, food, scents that remind us of them. We never truly come to terms with losing them. Even after years pass by, their absence is deeply felt. Coming to terms with Losing someone you love is never easy. No one would truly ever understand that pain and we do mot wish it on others. We cry when we think about them not because we are weak but because in our memories, they are still full of life. We cry because we miss them. All the words we wish we could have said to them, telling them how much we love them.... We cry because we wont ever have such opportunity to express how content we are to have them in our lives. We cry not because we are weak but because they meant something to us. Losing a loved one is the worst kind of experience to go through but we know, even if we cant bring them back to life, they still live on in our memories. To the immortal memories of a lost loved one.

Thursday, 1 November 2012


A title is only as good as the relationship you are in, sometimes we want the title for the sake of our ego.
A lot of people would not agree to this but it is OK, the truth from my opinion would still be told.
The title, this is the official term given to people who are emotionally committed to a relationship. This makes everything official and real, indirectly delegating responsibilities to the people involved and the roles required of them to play. As constructive as the aforementioned definition may sound, note the key words "responsibility and roles".
So does giving titles mess a relationship up? if i am allowed to be honest, every woman would want to know her place in a man's life, what role they are playing, how important are they, their worth and value. sometimes women consider title as the foundation and basis of a relationship hence putting men in tight corners, spotlight, forcing them into relationships they find hard committing to. she wants to know her status, girlfriend or mistress?  Call me your girlfriend so i can play the part, makes me wonder if it is a movie, play or drama.
This does not only apply to women alone, men also crave for the title, they feel it tells them where they fit in, what they can expect from the relationship.
I am not saying giving titles is bad but the obsession about having a title is what ruins a seemingly good relationship. I believe before you start off anything with anyone, you already know how it is going to play out, so i do not get why people act surprised along the way or leave because of a mere title.
Is having a title that important? Would it make the relationship last longer? Would it make you love your partner more?
I am not encouraging undercover love affairs  but if i am to understand this properly, giving your partner a title makes the relationship more official? official in what? giving your relationship a title, helps define it? really? If someone genuinely loves you, cares about you, faithful and committed to you, loyal to you, honest and truthful, trust worthy. Please where does the term "title" come in? Would the person  not be all of this even after the title, so what exactly is the role of a title in a relationship.
She is my girlfriend, he is my boyfriend, like they are your property to own. he/she is my boo thang, sugar ray, honey pot, honey boo, booboo. Cool story. No please go on.
Sometimes you may just have a good thing going and then when you start labeling it, it just make it almost like a burden instead of a blessing.
The obsession to give out titles, like that is the driving force in every relationship is sometimes surreal. i get it, you love your significant other but you are sure if they are for real when they give you a title, understand this calling someone a boyfriend/girlfriend is still just a made up word. People focus most of their energy trying to live up to that word, to attain that position, to be labelled as such, to be given that title. With or without the title, the relationship still goes on as long as your feelings are true. No matter how many times we label a white stallion with a sharp horn on its forehead as a "unicorn", unicorns still do not exist in this world.
My idea of a relationship, it really doesn't matter what you call each other as long as everyone knows what to do, without stress or drama. Feelings growing stronger everyday.
Recently, i almost got into a semi argument with someone i was close to, her point "i do not see the need to call a girl boo, babe, darling, sweetheart" if you are not dating her. This set me off, what sort of myopic mindset is this. How did we just assume calling someone pet names guaranty a relationship status. Never argue with a girl is my motto, so i simply replied that i have lived in the UK for almost three years and it would shock her to know a total stranger might just call you a pet name. It is part of exchanging pleasantries especially if its in a service delivery store. "hey darling, yes love, take care sweetheart".you don't believe me, Google any restaurant, shop in the UK and just call them. So if a store sales rep calls me darling or love, it means she is into me, i am her man lover, black African prince mandingo and we are in a relationship, Story
How can people just assume a title defines a relationship? If you do not call me your boyfriend then we are not dating, if you do not call me the title "girlfriend or boo" then this is not official. Pure BS to be honest. Or some might say Calling me boo makes me know that i am yours and you are mine, i never knew humans could also be acquired? MINE? really?
If you are in a relationship, you get treated with respect, love, spoiled with attention, never get cheated on, why else would you want to leave because of a title?
In my opinion, if someone can make you happy, hold on to them.
The obsession to have a title gives you sense of security, security from what? what is there to secure? alien invasion on your relationship? intergalactic war? sense of security how? i still do not get why people say that or it makes you know your place, your place? i can only assume you did not just move into your new place to have forgotten where it is, we have map apps to help us find your place.
If they call you boo or not, and your heart is no more in the relationship, the titles would not change anything, it would not fix things neither would it bring dead feelings back to life. Same thing goes for a situation where the title is given, it doesn't remotely affect how you treat the person you are with or how much you love them.
Title or not, a relationship is not defined  by it but by the people involved in the relationship.
Focus more on your partner or significant other than the pet names they call you or the titles you give them.
To be continued..........................

Sunday, 14 October 2012


The year was 2010, school work had completely taken over my social life. No friends just colleagues and suffice to say, living a boring life had become more acceptable. It was like the only choice, infact it was my only choice. Acceptance!! Wake up, live a boring life through out the day, hit the sheets at night as a boring guy, have boring dreams and start the boring day afresh again, the next day. 
During a late night session in the school library, a colleague and dear friend suggested we take a road trip to "Reading". Road trip? What happened to trains? It is just half an hour via train, so!!!! Somehow he confused me and then convinced me about the road trip and I was game. It was supposed to be roughly an hour by road but we eventually spent 4hours. We left London late, during rush hour. He was driving, he had his girlfriend at the passenger seat in front and me, I was at the back. 3 is a crowd like they always say but obviously when it comes to mad raves, the more the merrier. We were hitting Reading to party like rockstars. And yes, as a boring guy, I had no date. We somehow believe "there shall be a single girl at the rave to peruzz with".
About 45mins away from Reading, it was dark and the journey just seemed long. I needed to pee. Oh did I mention, we had 3 cocktail flask in the car that had concoction in them. Every guys knows the power of ether and urine. Bloody enemies. I politely asked my dear friend to stop the car, a brother had to pee. He refused, giving a crazy excuse. I figured the dude was scared because it was dark, he didn't want to spook his girlfriend out.
I couldn't hold it in, I needed to pee badly to which he went off on me, if I needed to pee that bad, I should pee in any empty flask. He was not stopping at all.
Some people do not undertsand the power of piss, I was already twitching, full body shaking like I was doing a new dance move, my toes were curling. This was it, the end of my life. And if they ask, how did it happen.. He passed out from holding his own piss. My bladder!! So I took the only option offered to me. I took a piss in the cocktail flask, I didn't check If it was empty or not. I didn't say a word in the car. I just emptied what I can only assume to be 50cl of pure concentrated man piss inside the cocktail flask. Ohhh sweet paradise, the joy, peace, serenity. The burden was lifted. We finally got to Reading and I did not tell him what I did or anyone. I planned on throwing the piss away but I forgot. Later that night, whilst in the company of other friends sharing stories and getting ready for the party. My friend decided it was time to finish his cocktail. 3 flask and I did not know which one had my concentrated man piss inside. So he took one of the flask, opened it (just so you know, everything at this point happened in slow motion). Poured the contents into a cup and drank it all, I was wishing it was indeed the cocktail. He made facial gestures and finally boasted on making the best cocktail. I was relieved, it wasn't my piss. He beckoned on the other friends to try it, 2 dudes and 2 girls drank from the cocktail flask, not too much but enough for everyone to have a sip except me. I opted out. When the cocktail flask he was holding was empty, he proceeded to open the remaining two. Lo and behold, they were empty. They all drank my piss. 3 grown ass men and 2 beautiful girls drank my piss.
Moral of the story, never leave London during rush hour. Traffic is mad that period.

Sunday, 7 October 2012


A lot of boys would never admit to this, they still want to act macho to save face, so on behalf of the boys around the world that got played by a girl, sorry got beaten up by a girl. This is dedicated to you. Maybe different situations but the end result is still the same. I was physically abused by a girl.
This happened summer 2008, still a freshie. On the "I don't get to shit" grind. Omo butty boy. I met a girl from IUO. Had a borrowed flower name... "Lilly". I figured she was ok, skin glowed under the sun. Oral english on point. She was the definition of a hottie. Jackpot, I kept telling myself. So we had this summer fling that lasted for 4days and on the 4th day, I discovered how much of a fighter she was.
No matter what you do as a dude, never ever settle two girls fighting. It is not hot in any form. There is nothing sexy about it. The dangerous girls to watch out for are the short beautiful girls. They are walking canons. Back to my story, we were having drinks at sage (hotel/bar). Everything was going great, till another girl walked by, stopped, gave "lilly" the look.
Let me define the look, according to girls, they say the look can be seen as "I shall fuck every dude in your family and you can't do shit about it bitch" "who the fuck are you, I can probably feed you and your family for a year" and some other ridiculous definitions I shall not bore you with.
So this girl gives "lilly" the look and walks away. Lilly laughs out loud, whilst holding on to my hand real tight, I should add that, the bone that gives my left hand formation suffered minor fracture. In my head, I was like.. Shii is about to go down. With hot tears by the corner of my eyes. I didn't even realise when I called "Lilly" aunty.. Can I be excused? She then gave me the look.
The look as defined by a dude "if you leave, your balls would suffer" "dare walk away and no sex for you for a year" "I would cock tease you and then fall asleep leaving you with a hard on" or "whatever you decide to do, think about it carefully, this may be the last time you ever get to make such decision again because in the end, I still own your likkle ass, bitch." Jokes apart, you actually hear the word bitch in your head. Anyways, she gave me the look but a nicca had to hit the rest room real quick to escape all the tension and lament to the bathroom mirror on the already fractured bone, I was going to drop her home and never call her again. I was gone for 5mins when I heard a loud bang on the bathroom door. I came out, saw the bar man, he said "the lady you were with, has been asked to leave the bar" she is outside waiting for you. I did not even bother asking why. I paid the bill and walked out to meet her. Making my way to where I parked my car, I could see two girls going at it, screaming really loud. Words like "weyrey" "oloshi" "ode ni". I was astonished, ah what happened to my sweet Lilly, now a yoruba speaking warrior?? Did I mention Lilly was wearing this low cut top (I don't know the name girls call it) and something else I can only describe to be a jacket and the other girl had another shirt like material thing on. Oh well, in my head, I was like dude go separate them before it gets worse. Mind you, these girls were heavily equipped with mammary gland goodness. Perfect cue to be the perfect judge. The plan was to jump into the middle and end it all, maybe just maybe hold on to something soft for support.
All I can remember was stepping in, blanking out and 30mins waking up with a pounding headache.
I lost 30minutes of the fight that till date I don't even know why it started in the first place.
According to an eye witness (the bar man). Who followed me to make sure I got the girls to stop fighting after I paid the bill, he said and I quote "you got in to settle them and then the girl you were with got a bottle and then smashed your head with it" you fell to the ground chanting "Lilly why? Lilly why?" And then passed out and inbetween they stepped on you whilst still fighting. Got tired and then they made up!! The girl you were with got into the other girls car and they drove off.
I don't know how Lilly got a bottle, or do girls carry bottles in their bags?
Suffice to say, the girls disappeared and left me there on the floor.
I have been looking for Lilly since, because in my place of origin. If an elder falls to the ground because of you, a cow must be killed. I need my killed cow. Times are hard and for some reason I have been craving suya. Lilly, if you are reading this. You owe me a cow.
Moral of the story, if you see two fine girls fighting, please don't play the hero and separate them. Watch from a distance. If possible, buy pop corn, coke, get a chair, call other friends over and enjoy the show.

Sunday, 23 September 2012


So I cheated, my girlfriend might just lose it. How could I do something this cruel? She loved me with everything in her. She placed me before anyone. I loved her too.
I remember how we started, all the hurdles I had to jump over to get to her heart and I am sitting in this room, I can’t even look at myself in the mirror. What have I done?
She made me promise never to lie to her and here I was planning what I was going to tell her, my perfect excuse. I need redemption. She was still at work and in an hour she would be home. My biggest fear would be her noticing the awkward feeling. I was about to have dinner with her close friends and few of her family members. Wow, I have truly outdone myself this time.
This is my story, I had the perfect relationship, it was like a perfect match made in heaven, she was my sidekick and best friend. We shared everything together from bad moments to exciting ones. Planned holiday trips and sometimes traveled to remote locations because we wanted to be alone. Then she got a job that made her move few miles away from me. First few weeks, I would shuttle between my house and hers, located outside town. It felt like we had it under control until the stress from work started to kick in, I couldn’t handle it anymore. Most nights driving back to her place I would hit the sheets immediately I undress and my back touches the soft bed or she would come back extremely tired and all she wants to do is sleep. The connection was still there but the intimacy was gone.
I cannot say how the cheating started but all I know was that it felt good having something different to the point where I would turn down sex because I already got some earlier on. This was a new experience and I wanted to explore my options. I know what I was doing was wrong but I just couldn’t help myself. Here I was, sleeping next to the most gorgeous woman I have ever met in my life and I couldn’t stop thinking about another woman. The new strange woman controlling my life, first it was one and then they became two. It got to a point I was shuffling between 5 different women. The issue of keeping up with whatever new experience I was having remained a mystery. Every time my girlfriend would come over to which she usually calls 2hours before time, I clear up any trace of evidence that I may find really hard to explain. I still remember one event where I almost got caught, it was early evening and I just got home from work, I decided to hit it off with one out of the 5 women I just met. While I was going at it hard, my cell phone begins to vibrate… oh shiiiiiii, my lady was calling. I didn’t want to stop so in my head I figured I had it under control because if I don’t pick she won’t stop calling so I decided to pick up. Few minutes into the conversation, the new girl at my end started moaning loud.. I’m like WTF!!! I am screwed but luckily for me, my lady did not hear it quick enough before I ended the call. I kept telling myself to expect the worst just incase she did hear and was planning on teaching me a bitter lesson but she didn’t hear anything, whew. I still didn’t learn from that.
Here I was, sitting in her bedroom, full of guilt. My girlfriend is about to come home and I brought a strange woman to her house. I had 4 strange women over. This was my girlfriend’s birthday and I just couldn’t act right. I still cant believe I did this to her though?
I pulled through and faked a smile when she walked into the apartment. Rushed to kiss her but still felt guilty, she whispered in my ears.. I am putting on my birthday suit tonight and you are going to do to me as you see fit. Oh my, 4 women already… I was so exhausted. I can’t do this. I need to tell her what’s going on. She won’t understand no matter what. My eyes kept wandering about, searching for any evidence that can implicate me further. If she finds out before I tell her, I am dead. If I tell her before she finds outs, I am dead. Either way I was going to die anyway.
We had dinner and alcohol did the trick for me, came home and gave her an amazing birthday gift.
Few days later, I was supposed to see her but I cancelled to stay home instead. Decided it was time to hang out with two of my favorite ladies instead from the original 5. I had to let 3 girls go but I couldn’t give these 2 girls up, they were pro’s.
With the confidence that at most, if my girl was going to come over she would call regardless of the fact that she already had a spare key to my apartment, I proceeded in going about my business. The girls were so loud that I didn’t even hear her knock, my celly vibrate or when she walked in and stood there watching me go at it with my heart for about 45mins, changing positions, inter changing girls, I even had a large lube tube incase things got dry. This was it. My defining moment. I was just enjoying myself a little bit too much and decided to take a break. When the room was finally dead silent…. All I could hear was my name, I turned around and my girlfriend was standing behind me looking at me with so much amazement. She was going to kill me now for sure. She finally caught me cheating.
Oh by the way, I was watching porn and beating my meat. And the 5 girls were my favorite pornstars. Alexis Texas, Rachel Starr, Austin Taylor, Kelly Divine and Ms Raquel.

Sunday, 2 September 2012


Cheating, this word alone has destroyed great relationships and ended marriages. Sometimes it stirs up rage, anger, bitterness, depression and ultimately revenge.
More also, the act does not cause enough damage alone as much the effect on who is concerned and who is being cheated on. This raises the one million dollar question, why do people cheat? And for many years, researchers and observers have tried so hard to pin point the actual reason people go on with it. Some have blamed cheating solely on the man/male gender citing his insatiable desire for sex and others have further stated either the love in the relationship is gone or no more excitement, it is boring or simply both parties want something different. It has being an acceptable myopic yet totally false idea that all men cheat, which almost leaves the women population out of the question. Do women cheat also? And if they do, why?
Further more, from articles and stories from around the world claims have been made that the only reason a woman would cheat would be because she is not getting enough attention, care, love and so on.  But in all fairness, does it still make it right?
I often hear people say 99% of men would cheat on their spouses in the span of their relationship and the remaining 1% that is safe, happens to be VIRGINS, which by myth, hardly exist or appear every 100 years, just kidding but this is serious, in spite of all these reasons, no one has been able to figure out why people cheat.
What do you say is responsible for a man cheating on his loving, sexy and beautiful wife? Or a lady cheating on her caring and ever providing boyfriend? Do we overlook the fact that these people have all the rest of the world is searching for and yet jeopardize that by compromising all they have shared and built over the years? In my opinion, yes I said it; my opinion… people cheat because of greed. The need to want more or what I like to call the “oliver twist” syndrome, not being contented with what you have. You have it all, what more do you want? It still does not make up for half the nonsense people cite as reasons for infidelity.
Now I have your attention, ignore my personal views and sit back as we go HAM (hard as a mother*****) on this.
 Cheating can only be in two forms: emotional cheating and physical cheating. It is not my intention to sound bias but 80% of statistics have shown men are prone more to physical cheating and women, emotional cheating. So what then is emotional cheating and what is physical cheating? How do we handle it?
Emotional cheating implies no physical intimacy is involved and it is often referred to as the “affair of the heart”. It usually starts off from friendship and slowly with time builds into something solid. The emotional bond is often constantly built in/with time and effort. Constant meeting up and time spent away from your partner, sharing of intimate issues, problems, daily activities that may start off as a way of keeping in touch or breaking the ice. The need to share important dates, hang out or go sight seeing, build up memories and moments with someone else other than your partner, the emotional dependency (which may include happiness, joy, peace, laughter, comfort, sense of belonging and safety) on someone else other than your partner. In summary, it is when you invest emotionally into someone that is not your partner. It always, ALWAYS starts off innocent, either from just a compliment to drinking coffee at your favorite Starbucks, having a shared interest in a particular genre of music, book author, artist, art, movies. BBM conversations, Skype calls, SMS and phone calls.  It may start off with “just checking up on you and how did your day go?” and then you find yourself revealing deep things about yourself to them.  People often say that as long as sex is not involved then it is not consider cheating but it is. Emotions can create desires as well and when you get emotionally attached to someone other than your partner, whatever relationship you have with your partner slowly dies. You may even be in the same room with your partner and still emotionally cheat on them. Having this in mind, does this suggest that negligence from a partner can be the driving force for emotionally cheating on them??
An ex once asked me few years ago, what I would prefer, being emotionally cheated on or physically? As a man, I replied emotionally because I can never deal with the physical cheating but to my surprise she revealed she would rather much be cheated on physically, although it is never easy to forgive but with time you can deal with it but when it comes to emotional cheating, you have already ended the relationship in your head, maybe just too scared to walk away. Wow, that left me shocked. Few days later, we ended the relationship because she discovered I was emotionally attached to a close friend of mine, nothing sexual just in an uncomfortably close way. Further inquiry to how we got to that point showed how I stopped sharing with her my life and the activities in it, how I choose my phone above everything, always chatting and laughing away while she would be sitting in the same room as me, always calling just to talk to this “close friend of mine”, stay on Skype for hours discussing ideas on life, aspirations and dreams, setting up dates to see new movies, trying out new restaurants and so on… then the constant arguments with my ex started, we fought about anything and everything, guess who was on my speed dial afterwards? The same “close friend” and she would talk me into calming down and sometimes suggest ways of appeasing my ex. And then the denial that it was never anything more regardless of how emotionally attached I was, in my head I was in a loving relationship with my ex but in reality, I was emotionally involved with someone else. Bummer! 
I know what some of you readers may be thinking or let me just assume this, how could i emotionally depend on someone else when i was already involved in a relationship, let me shock you. For people who are still in relationships, at one time you may have cheated emotionally on your partner. think on/of this: all those moments where you would rather tell your "close friend of the opposite sex" about your problems other than your partner, that moment where you cant wait to get off work or go on breaks just so you can fill in the "close friend" about how your day is going, the calls just to say hi and end up talking for hours while you hardly call your partner, basically doing almost everything you would do with your partner but with your "close friend" instead, excluding sex. You have just emotionally cheated on them. we are all guilty of this! 
However you choose to analyse this, know that slowly but surely for every time you place your emotions (happiness, sadness, anger, joy, admiration, serenity etc) in the care of someone else other than your partner, you are creating a barrier between you and your partner. It may not be intentional but in due time, the effects may result to  deliberate actions. I am not against having people you can trust or talk to but only you can dictate the role they play in your life and how much you are willing to let them in.
With Physical Cheating, there is nothing much to define or explain here because as the name implies, there is physical intimacy. Sex is involved.  Men say physical cheating hurts more because it is in the nature of a man to relate to everything on a physical basis first. A man would not care who you talk to let alone have conversations with but he would be bothered about the number of other men that noticed you, your dress, your hairstyle or how many men made passes at you. There is always the need to mark our territory. Physical cheating would hurt a man more because in his subconscious, he has to relive every moment that led up to and after the cheating, studying carefully scene after scene and often ending with the conclusion that he was never good enough to keep the woman grounded. I think in every man’s head, physical cheating is a deliberate act; it is something you do with your eyes opened. It is premeditated and executed.
So where do we draw the line? A woman would sometimes if not always forgive a man for cheating on her physically but not emotionally and a man would forgive a woman for cheating on him emotionally and not physically. What the fuck is going on? This leaves you even more confused.
I am not limiting any form of cheating to a particular gender, having laid all my ideas on the table; anyone can cheat in any form given the situation of things or circumstance. It happens. But like I said in the beginning, sometimes it not about the act itself but the effects of the act, what it implies and how you react to it.
For whatever reason you may have for cheating, it is never good enough. It would have been better you remained single than to decide to start something beautiful, a beautiful love story and taint it with cheating.
In my opinion, cheating in any form is WRONG! It simply means you do not value your relationship. You place desire over responsibilities.

In conclusion, if you can save what you have left of your relationship please do. If ending it and starting afresh would make things right, please i encourage you do that also. If you are getting attached emotionally to someone else, only you can shut it down. Cheating in any form would hurt, definitely. Always protect the people you love. 

Please share your views on emotional cheating and physical cheating.  

Monday, 13 August 2012


The love below...

Oh the sweet smell of salvation from a distance; with the mystical powers possessed by the heightened human senses, I had an epiphany of my future liberation. But just like the sense of smell I wasn’t so sure how long it’ll last while busy trying to ascertain the pinpoint direction.
I was perplexed, having never seen something so alive, couldn’t curb my enthusiasm as I saw you walk down the corridors and made it straight for me or so I thought before realising I was standing right in front of your room door.
 Just like a revelation, she unfolded as the laminating power of light splashed on her face like a waterfall. She was beautiful and had an aura so strong it was like I never used cologne before, just then and there I knew it, there was something about this girl that could light up my world, split seconds passed like months as I tried not to look too much at you. Well, on the ironic it was her friend that caught my eyes coincidentally. Getting acquainted was like a rush of blood to the head because it made me so weak I thought I was going to faint.
Time seemed to move slowly as I got acquainted with every friend of a friend within a 20-mile radius. Interest on the other girl was striking me all up but deep within I knew who I would rather be caught dead having around me. Time went by and I got more into the rat race game not knowing that sooner than I thought destiny struck and we had an argument that caused the most renowned cold war yet
 Yes! My chance had come to reveal myself explicitly to the one person I have thought of more than my family. My new love interest and divine incarnate of my very own all-purpose mind.
How did I ever screw that up?  Answer: I was afraid, knowing it was my sole purpose to push away the things I loved so that I never feel guilty about living a morally unstable but yet fulfilling life, making myself believe that I was alone in the world and love from anybody besides myself was highly overrated.
How could I ever deserve her?  Answer: truth is, I did not hence recent truth unfolded. The truth they say is like time, it hurts (freakishly excruciating) but it will always speak (volumes). Well that was how I solved the mystery behind sitting down with the help of Smirnoff vodka, red bull and One republic’s Waking up album playing in the background wondering how the fuck did I get a lifetime of black chocolate raindrops (most times bitter but has more addictive aura, over zealous impediment to quit and check myself into rehab) falling cats and dogs all around me and I limited myself to the little spill (thank God for purposeless, multidirectional wind) along the way, simply because of my good status modality with full option umbrella protection and emotional defence system. 

The upside of conditional love (the remission)

I was reckless and foolish; perfection was motivation, anger, romance, power, needs, wants, and compatibility. How could someone want so many things all at once? Were the candy raindrops not enough? Or was I just looking for heaven in an angel. I blew it! I built this fortress around me and made it difficult for you to get in because I was afraid you would one day realise that I didn’t deserve you. I was weak, defensive but in love
Nonetheless, I was sorry for trying to underestimate your love or over estimate your tolerance (when I know your just human). For defending my love when I know it was only your love that could exonerate me for breaking your heart, for making you cry, lying, wining and dinning with one or two, getting high and fighting, rewinding time and predicting a selfish future just for u.
 I don’t deserve you or your love.. I fell short as opposed to your care and I’m brutally behind the line with your accommodation and appreciation of my effortless pseudo-zeal to love u.
God gave you to me as my very own guardian angel and ever letting you go is a product of my depreciation for God and His purpose for my life. I should have been the man but instead I chose to be the god and i wasn’t even remotely immortal (who does that?). I became indifferent towards your feelings for no justifiable reason, undermining that one of the roles of a real man is to serve and please his woman.
I was not a perfect man.. I try but I haven’t lived in this world order before not even a dejavu. I was agitated, afraid of commitment and intensely emotional in more ways than necessary. It felt like immaculate nature had its boundaries on me, getting all your love and care like that (I often go like ''mi otipoju'). Every mistake is a solved puzzle to your uncertain but purposeful destiny. In the spirit of these words I sincerely unfold, I am not good enough for you and you appear almost faultless. But I thank God that He still let me get the experience. 

 The ironic chronicles (hype and demise) 

 "For everything under the sun, there is a time and a season, a time to sow..." I will live my fragile life and make sure I don’t burn the bridges that led me to you. The day I feel like I deserve you alongside my utterly crumbling world of pride, I will tell the world what it felt like to be loved by you. If I never get the feeling then I would augment to that theory; what it feels living for the love of you and doing it all wrong because of ignorance and unwillingness to learn. Let this serve as a lesson to anyone reading this.. Love is like a piece of artwork; it doesn’t speak in human vocabulary but speaks volumes. Nonetheless everybody has an opinion but you must speak, most importantly it always tells you what you want to hear (modality is limitless) as long as its true and you believe in it. 
This experience I will never forget or regret, it hurt me and healed me, and you were my 6th sense, 7th wonder of my archived life experiences, my humanity, my cure to desert places, my intervention, my gift and my curse, my history, my err and my mercy and my hearts intent. I have learnt my lesson and I have come to the conclusion that you were more than a woman. You were divine! and i lost you. oh sweet chocolate raindrops.