Saturday, 14 December 2013


Not every relationship would last; even true love forsakes us sometimes.

It is my engagement dinner, I am standing outside the hall, too scared to walk in, not because I am afraid of getting married but I fear the moment I hold the most to my heart isn’t enough to last me a lifetime.
While lost in my thought, Ana takes my hand; I turn to her, seeing her smile at me took my breath away. I was getting married to the most beautiful girl on this planet. She was my light, my world, my oxygen, my best friend. How did I get this lucky?
I have known Ana for a year, and it felt like she had always been with me my whole life. From the moment I realized I was in love with her, I knew I wanted to spend the rest of my life with her. And as crazy as my desires were, they seemed possible. I still remember the low point I was at in my life when Ana found me and saved me. I was hooked on drugs, a functioning alcoholic, a chronic skirt chaser, my life had no purpose, and then Ana came in and changed everything. How did I ever get this lucky?
Ana was like the sun to my earth, she brightened my world, ever soft spoken, she loved God so much it made me want to get closer to the divine creator. Ana was too good to be human, Ana was my safe haven.
Ana was my life, I was lost without her, I starred into her eyes before walking into the hall, in my heart I knew she was my forever and always. Tears flowed freely from my eyes, I was marrying the only woman my heart has ever loved, she was my life force.
She held my hand tighter, smiled at me again and said, “You have me, always, forever, never forget that”
Those words pierced through my soul, more tears came out without control, Ana was my life. I squeezed her hands, my feet refused to move. I kissed her so deep she started crying.
8 months into my relationship with Ana, I discovered she was terminally ill, hence why she gave me so much tough time in the beginning; she was protecting me from getting hurt. She didn’t want to love me; she didn’t want me to fall in love with her because she wasn’t going to live long enough to be with me. From the time I found out about her illness, it only made me want to be with her more, I never pictured myself with anyone else. My parents didn’t have a say, Ana had become my only source of happiness. The few times I went to the hospital with her, the chemotherapy and radiation was too painful to comprehend. I watched her in so much pain, I felt helpless. And just when we thought everything was going to be all right, the doctor called our attention that the cancer had spread to other parts of her body, her organs were slowly shutting down. My baby, my future, my love had 3weeks to live.
Time was against our love, time was against us, and I felt the hot tears flowing from Ana’s eyes on my cheeks. 3 weeks had elapsed and family members were gathered in a hall to witness her last moment on earth.
Ana broke free from my lips, looked at me and smiled at me. I didn’t understand how someone who was in so much pain could possibly smile. She had become the strongest woman I knew at that point. While holding her hands with tears in my eyes “Ana I cant live without you, I don’t think I can survive without your love saving me, you have been the only life I know, you are my fortress, please don’t leave me, stay with me a little longer..” Ana kisses the tears from my cheeks and says “I can’t leave you, I wont leave you, even when my heart stops beating and I lose my breath, I still love you more than you imagine. I prayed for strength and God sent you to me, you have been my peace in the midst of this storm and I am glad my final moments are with you, to me, we spent always and forever… and when I finally go, promise me you would find someone else to love, show her the better man that you have become, my always and forever” my eyes still shut tight, I hug Ana so close, I didn’t want to let her go, family members wondering what was taking us so long to walk into the hall come outside to meet us, and they all watched as I held Ana so close to me. And suddenly her warm body became cold, Ana had finally left me. I called out her name like she could hear me “Ana please stay with me, fight this battle with me, don’t go” my heart couldn’t contain itself; I felt it shatter into pieces. My love was gone.

Not every relationship would last; even true love forsakes us sometimes.

Thursday, 21 November 2013


Some days love exists and other days, it is just a myth.
I check my watch again, 9:45pm; time had suddenly stopped. I splash my face with cold water running from the sink tap to make sure I was not dreaming again. Shade is pregnant!
I check the result again on the pregnancy strip; she is actually pregnant, Jesu. Almost like a shitty scene in a nollywood movie, I began to think back, my thoughts were in black and white.
Shade was the person I called home; she was the definition of love. To me, shade was the embodiment of an angel in human flesh. We planned a life together. Her parents seemed to like me and most of my family members accepted her also. Shade was the only girl I could boost of that had my heart on lock down.
Shade rocked my world, it seemed only right that I envisioned a life with her in it but this, a child before marriage? What was I supposed to do now? As I walk slowly to where shade was sitting crying her eyes out, I realized I wanted to be with her even more, it felt right that the girl I was crazy about was carrying a bundle of joy, a perfect combination of us. I held her hands, wiped her tears and reassured her of my devotion and love. Shade looked at me like life had been restored to her but we had one worry; my parents. Nothing in this world frightened me more than the two individuals I called my parents. My dad was an old soldier and my mum, a therapist. I had high level of moral upbringing installed into me, it was more than good parenting, and there was no room for mistake. How on earth was I supposed to tell them that the son they expected perfection from had gotten a girl pregnant? As we contemplated on the next step to take, my mind began to flash back on all the times I erred and the extreme measure my retired soldier father took to ensure correction. With a promising future in the family business, I was about to lose my position, my name, my privileges.. Torn between losing the luxury I was used to and the girl I saw in my future, tears rolled from my eyes. I have always been anti abortion; I cursed the day I decided to have sex without a condom, the sweetest feeling I experienced, the addiction to it and my obsession. Skin to skin was my devil and now it was time to pay the pied piper.
One week after hearing the news, I was suffering from insomnia; I couldn’t eat or stay calm. I lost weight, for someone who wanted to be independent; I still needed my father’s connection in securing a good job even if the family business couldn’t accommodate me. How was I supposed to survive? Providing for my new family? Shade kept me sane, reassuring me of how love would keep us together; she became my strength in my hour of weakness. I scrapped my savings, got a new apartment and the life of hardship began.
Two weeks after I discovered shade was pregnant, I summoned the courage to inform my parents about the news, they wanted me to get married and give them grand children, this was a double blessing; marry shade with a baby inside her. The fear of my father is the beginning of fear and humility, i recited my speech over and over and over again until the day I finally broke the news to him, my father said nothing but shook his head and walked away. Right there on my seat, my world crumbled, I knew what that meant and without any word, I left my family house never to show my face again. Shade became my strength in my hour of weakness.
Shade was all I had now, every night she cried herself to sleep and sometimes I cried with her too, she knew what I had lost, what I had given up. Shade was in her final year and she had to defer her admission, her dream and aspiration was put on hold, our world became a rock! The love that was blossomed began to struggle. Everyday was a battle but somehow we worked through it all. she also was in so much pain.
We needed more money, so I picked up an extra shift at my work place. Day and night, I worked so hard to provide food on the table. I put shade In this position, so I felt it was my responsibility to provide for her every need. Her job was to stay home and relax.
All efforts to contact my father and ask forgiveness proved impossible, I remember going to my family house and my father asked the security guard to keep me under the sun, I waited for my father in the same house I grew up in. I was an outcast; I had brought shame to the good family name. My father came out of the house, looked at me, got into his car and drove off. 3 hours under the sun waiting for him and he just left me like that, like I meant nothing. I cried so hard that day. I was certainly not the first to get a girl pregnant, there was no fight between families, I was doing the right thing by trying to marry her before the pregnancy was pronounced but in all I felt like a disgrace. 
This was my cross and I was going to carry it, shade became my strength in my hour of weakness.
November 12th, exactly 2 months after I discovered shade was pregnant, I had worked my ass off day and night to provide for my new family, my father had publicly humiliated me by disowning me in a popular newspaper. I felt my world crumble to my feet but shade became my strength in my hour of weakness.
Shade sent me an SMS on this fateful day “babe, I am at the hospital, I felt a sharp pain in my tummy, I went to check it and I am still waiting for the doc to give me feedback. I am fine, no need to worry. See you soon”.
At that moment, I got worried even more; I hurriedly put on my clothes and went to the hospital. On getting there, I met shade sitting in the waiting room, when our eyes met, she stood up looking pissed. Walked over to where I was and began throwing tantrums. I thought I asked you not worry. What are you doing here? Please go back home. I was confused; I didn't know what was going on, I have never seen my shade like this before. She kept talking and pushing me out of the hospital. I did not get what I did wrong by coming to the hospital to see my wife to be. 
And in that mini moment of struggle, I saw a nurse walking towards us and calling shade's name. Shade ignored the nurse and was bent on taking me out of the hospital.
I decided to stand my ground, was something wrong with the baby that shade did not want me to find out? I was able to get a grip of shade to calm her down, the nurse caught up with us and told her the result of the test; the doctor suggested it was nothing to worry about, she should just avoid fatty food, it is not good for a woman that is six months pregnant to eat a lot of fatty food because of her high cholesterol level.
All I heard was SIX MONTHS pregnant!! I asked the nurse again if she made a mistake, she said no. Mrs. shade has been a patient in their clinic, and she is 6 months pregnant. And as if that wasn't enough, the nurse asked about her husband, Kenneth. And the only Kenneth I knew was my best mate. 
Then it hit me, 8 months ago, I traveled for a course and I came back 3 months before shade told me she was pregnant. During the time, I asked my best mate to keep my girlfriend company. I did not feel threatened at all. Only for my best mate to get my girlfriend pregnant they got married and I wasn't aware, 6 months pregnant for another man and yet she made me take responsibility for it. I lost everything, where do I begin.
November 12th.
Some days love exists and other days, it is just a myth.

Wednesday, 21 August 2013

How Art The Mighty Fallen; THE OTHER WOMAN

 DISCLAIMER: This may be based on very true events or strictly for entertainment but it is not an attempt to sound deep. Enjoy!

I met Nina in the summer of 2008 and we have stayed close ever since then, for some unknown reason I had always been drawn to her and I couldn’t help but not want her in my life. Every effort I made to ensure that happened, failed at every turn. Nina wasn’t going to make it easy for me and I intended on not giving up, until she finally said yes, I had worked my way into her life by every means possible. Suffice to say at this point, Nina became my everything. She was the choice between being happy and happiness itself.

The other woman is the lowest state in your relationship status, worse than been friend zoned. The other woman can be a side chick that has been demoted or a main chick that lost her throne. The other woman is the girl you keep around in your life long enough till she eventually walks away on her own, even then she is never missed. The other woman is the girl that gets the last 5mins left from your airtime, whilst she has been home waiting for you call all day. The other woman is the girl you run your contact check on sometimes just to be sure you still either have her or to make sure she deleted herself. The other woman is the girl that only gets presents 3 days in a year, namely: her birthday, the day you assumed was her birthday and a makeup gift for forgetting her birthday. The other woman is the girl that sends “I love you” in a message (bbm, whatsapp, sms) and you reply by calling her. The other woman is the girl that gets no love so she manages whatever she gets; the slightest attention on her has made her day. The other woman makes no public appearance. She assumes she is with you and your folks know about her but to them she is just the other chick you know. The other woman is the girl that is the last resort in getting laid when your hands fail or your cock is not really attracted to your hands anymore, hand injury, no lube, poor internet connection to stream low quality porn. The other woman is the girl that never gets her picture (although she is beautiful enough to qualify) used as your dp on your bbm profile, whatsapp profile or twitter avatar but she has to bear the pain of watching different girls pictures been used. The other woman's picture is only used in a delicate form, on her birthday and it never stays up for more than 24hours. The other woman is the girl you refer to as “your angel, your darling, your best friend, your boo: which can also be the short form of olebooruku, your confidante, your GF: which can mean good friend, goofy friend, genuine friend” when faced with the problem of accepting her in public to the knowledge of everyone present, she is never referred to as your girlfriend in full. The other woman is the girl you feed the illusion of a better tomorrow whilst her present is still shitty and it’s your entire fault. The other woman is the girl that never gets spoiled, you spend it all on the main and side chick, the other chick gets what’s left over, the change.

Nina had my heart and my love, she was my strength, she made everything seem so easy and effortless, and I wanted to have that for as long as I could. But just like every beginning has an end, our love story became an old version of itself, a perfect picture been tainted. Few months of dating Nina and telling the world about her, we started having issues. Nina was reserved and quiet, a fact I didn’t mind whilst chasing her but now it bothered me so much. We never really had conversations. I would talk and she would listen. She hardly shared with me or expressed how she felt for me. Was I ever in doubt of her love? No, but sometimes after ranting on how madly I was in love with her, I just needed something to feed on, a little feedback to reassure me that I wasn’t the only person crazy, crazy in love. I wrote beautiful love poems and notes about her and sent them to her, and sometimes I would beg for just a line as a reply but Nina wouldn’t budge. Slowly I found myself withdrawing from her, I was hurting inside, and I needed to become someone else. I needed her to be someone else.
Days turned to weeks, weeks turned to months. Even with my sudden change in attitude, Nina didn’t even notice. I found myself converting a love story we built together into something less important and I didn’t want it to stop. Emotionally I had cheated on Nina so many times more than I could count because I wish she was someone else. Eventually, I got my wish. Nina became a version of what I had imagined, I saw her in a different way and regardless of how much I assumed I was in love with her, the new part of her I created was way better. I didn’t have to express myself anymore to her, she was the same girl I was proud to show to the world and the same girl I was quick to hide the world from her. Days were I would call her for hours sharing bare jokes and then moments later; I would call for few minutes just as a routine to check in on her. Indeed she had become two different people. The one I was crazy about and the one I created to cure my craze.
A man can only feed off from whatever he is given as a meal.
The new part of Nina was my perfect emotional meal. I found myself drawn to her and yet withdrawn as well. I bought gifts for her and then I returned it. It was a constant battle in my head.
I struggled with referring to her as my girlfriend so I called her my bestie, sometimes my angel and deep down I knew what that meant but I couldn’t help the feeling of not attaching any concrete title to her. She was my girlfriend at heart but in reality she became the other chick in my life.
I got so comfortable with the feeling that I could go on days without hearing from her and be fine, I love you became a routine, the best way to end a phone call. A part of me was dead to the fact that at some point she was the girl I wanted to be with, and all I hoped for her to be was the other chick in my life.
Finally when she became more expressive and decided to share more, it was already too late to fix us. I made my main chick the other woman in my life and I had to live with it.  

Are you the other woman???

Monday, 10 June 2013


Its 12pm and my palms are sweaty, heart beat racing so fast, standing outside this huge wooden door. I want to go in but my legs refuse to move. I take out my phone and attempt to call you but I know you won’t answer me and suddenly just like a movie, flash back on our lives together is on cue.

With my hands still shaking I feel my lips move and all I could say was I love you; I can’t believe I am actually saying these words. I love you. My heart skips a lot of beats as I chant these words like a mantra. I love you and I couldn’t even stop myself from saying it. I love you. Wow. I really love you. My days and nights had no meaning if I didn’t include you in it. I fall asleep daydreaming about you and wake up in the morning smiling to myself, telling myself it’s a fresh day to love you all over again in a different way. The rush I get to check my phone, slowly unlocking it, with BBM notifications showing, how i take my time, savoring the moment with no rush. How i ignore other messages and skip to yours, I never understood why my heart beat drops whenever I open your messages, was it the way you typed “good morning dear” or the smiley faces after the message or your new pm that I assumed had something to do with me and how I crown it up by calling just to hear your voice, only then would my day officially start. Damn, I loved you.
The habit of talking to you till you max out my airtime then I realize “oh my gosh, I could have called you on Skype” instead. And we resume talking about nothing and everything. Your smiles, your laughter to my amazing yet horrible jokes, the way you called out my name whenever I teased you or said something silly, the way you stared at me while I tell you my stories, the gossips and gist we shared and exchanged, the reassurance, the emotional talk, the debates on who knows how to care more and with that I loved you even more.
How you knew the right time to call to talk to me, always spot on. The convo’s we had and how you try to cheer me up even when I was having a bad day by dissing who or what the situation was about. Wow, I loved you.
How we took goofy pictures and how we made silly videos and send voice notes saying the most ridiculous things ever, sing to each other… when we know we won’t even make the first round on American idol but we still cherished that moment like it meant everything. How we listened to new songs and their lyrics, randomly select songs we can both relate to and play it so much the singer stops singing and screams back at us to at least change the track geez, Lol. I loved you
Our pointless chat messages, the need to just say, “Hi babe, just wanted to check in on you” “what are you up to?” “You have another lover, hence the silence” “I miss you” “just thinking of you” all of that and a lot more silliness. I loved you
How I randomly hear someone else say out your name and just assume it is you they are talking about, surely more people bear the same name as you but I convinced myself it’s just you. I loved you
The few times I walked down the street or I was in an office, shop, cinema, mall and I perceive your favorite fragrance and then my brain automatically does a quick search faster than Google, I just assume you are close by. I loved you.
The late night conversation about the day’s activities, the tease, giggles, rants and finally how we randomly dose off on each other. I loved you
Now I am standing in front of a church, trying to convince myself I need to walk in now, for some reason I know you are looking and waiting for me. Do I want to go through this? Is this the best decision? I can just head back home. This is the happiest day of your life. I love you very much
I summon up courage and walk into the church, then I hear cheers, people are clapping. The guy next to me says wow people seem to be clapping for you. I couldn’t answer him so I just smiled. I love you.
As I get closer to you by making way through the crowd, I finally see the reason why people are clapping and going ecstatic, you are kissing someone else and the person isn’t me. It is your wedding day, I am not the groom. But I still love you.

Monday, 27 May 2013


We all have different ways of dealing with rejection. They say love unrequited hurts the most because you can never understand why the person you love, can't love you back. For some people it takes a lot of courage to actually express how they feel inside because they don't want to come off as being too desperate even when its not in their favour, they decide to take the risk and still open up, the fear of getting rejected eats them up slowly everytime they choose to express how they feel inside.
Rejection emotionally damages your self-esteem. Emotional pain is the most difficult pain to handle and deal with because the pain never truly heals by itself or with time, you just hope it eventually goes away or you stop paying attention to it to even notice its existence.
Although studies have shown that women get rejected a lot, love and never be loved in return but men also go through the same struggle even more. About 65% of the male gender gets romantically rejected almost every year, a stage known as friend zone. 
This makes me wonder, does the heart sometimes love the wrong one? Does the heart make mistake on who it chooses to love? Or do we deceive ourselves to trust in a make believe moment where you are more than convinced that you love the person and they love you back? Does the heart indeed lie to us?? The problem with getting rejected is that you never quite get over it, your feelings for that person may eventually die but your brain would never forget that someone you actually cared for could reject you even when you thought (assumed) you read all the signs right. Putting into consideration time and all the effort put in, How do you recover from that? Are we slaves to our emotions? Do we expect too much just because we see them differently, do we expect they would love us because we spend so much time with them? Do we expect them to care about us because we have known them for a long period of time?
Sometimes we question our heart for allowing us love someone who is emotionally unavailable.. is the heart in tune with our way of life to always want something we know we can't have?? 
In most cases, we blame ourselves for the rejection, maybe we didn't show our love enough, maybe we are not good enough, maybe our past keeps chasing us, maybe we don't deserve to be happy.. 
Unrequited love is a slow poison.. Literally, killing you slowly with each passing day. Feelings need something to feed on and when they have nothing, they tend to feed on themselves.
We should understand that love is almost like an elastic band/rubber band.. It has the ability to be stretched out to its limit and then retract back to its original size.
Even when the elastic band breaks and you tie two ends together, there is always going to be that visible knot. A perfect picture of the band has being tainted. When you love someone who doesn't love you back.. Your love has being stretched to its limit and it might just break with your heart and emotions crushed.
“Every broken heart has screamed at one time or another: why can’t you see who I truly am? – Shannon L Adler
Some days we stay up thinking and wondering, with everything I have done, said, all the efforts I have put in, he/she can’t still see me in a different way.
Unrequited love is a ridiculous state, and it makes those in it behave ridiculously – Cassandra Clare. 
I remember during my active years on a popular social media network platform “twitter”, I had this unbelievable attraction for one of my followers and every day I retweeted her tweets, replied some of the tweets also but she always ignored me and that made me try harder to get her attention. Most days my timeline would be congested with only tweets from her account and she still didnt even notice me, it got to a point I changed my avatar on my profile to her picture and yet I was far from recognition. She replied everyone else, RT’d their tweets, gave S/O but I always got ignored.
I got tired of waiting for her to even say hi, I moved on. Suffice to say, she noticed I wasn’t all about her anymore, tried to get in touch with me but by then I was over her.
We find ourselves trying too hard not to let go, putting in more effort hoping it would change something, hoping the person we are in love with would notice but as long as they don't feel the same way, they never truly appreciate the beauty of the love you feel.
“Winter is much like unrequited love; cold and merciless” – Kellie Elmore
In 2010, I reconnected with a girl from my childhood, months passed and we got really close. More often than not she tried to hint me of her feelings for me but I chose to ignore. We can’t be anything more than friends i kept telling myself, she cant possibly love me. 4months into the reunion she flew in from New York where she was based at the time just to see me. She spent 8 days in London with each passing day a plea to see me to which I refused; I waited until the final day whilst she was on her way back to the states to see her, not even in person but via Skype. I never considered that I acted like a douche bag to her. I felt I was too busy to see her, besides I never asked her to come to London but in reality, I zoned her to the point where I didn’t care about how my actions affected her. I remember her telling me about the things she gave up to see me, those words hunted me for a long time. My apologies were never enough. 
Unrequited love hurts deep, friendship or relationship....  

To be continued……

Tuesday, 23 April 2013

Understanding "The Code": DO YOU REALLY WANT TO KNOW?

If a girl wants you, nothing can keep her away and if she doesn’t want you, regardless of your grand gestures, sacrifices and compromises, nothing in this world and in space can make her stay.

Men should stop trying so hard to prove their change or transformation in/for a relationship that is not meant to be. Never base living your life on the mere idea a woman has of you. Your happiness is not tied to her. Being and staying happy is a personal decision. Again, regardless of how matured they expect us as men to behave at the end of a relationship, be civil and still be friends with your ex, that is strongly not advisable. You don’t need a constant reminder of your past. In order to move forward, you must completely let go. The longer you hold on to her, you keep her grounded, two things are bound to happen; the rekindling of old dead flames and then painfully part ways as enemies or the bitterness that eats you inside thinking about all those moments you took her granted and those moments she treated you less than you deserved. 

It is very important that as men we should understand the next few words “DO NOT SETTLE”. I don’t care about the place you were/are in emotionally, you shouldn’t settle. If it is not what you want, then don’t get involved. Often we have this mindset of not finding anything better if we let go of what we have. Do not stay in a relationship because you think and assume she/things would get better. As sad as this may sound, it may never get better, infact it becoming worse is almost inevitable. You may realize few years latter that you wasted your time hoping on a situation that never improved, that may become your greatest regret and would affect how you treat the people around you. The next girl always suffers for the sins of your ex girlfriend. 

The only person you have effective control over in a relationship is you, you are your guide, instructor, muse, and director. I understand honesty is very important in a relationship but there are issues that should never be said or known by your partner. It has nothing to do with you being dodgy or secretive but it is about the principles attached to the experience; as long as she was not in your life when shit got down, she does not need to know about, if it does not remotely affect your relationship; she does not need to know about. Never be overly honest. If you let a woman know everything, she may use it against in the future to either prove a point, as a reference or mainly to just taunt you with it.

You cannot be a savior; we already have a messiah who died for our sins. You cannot save them all; you are not superman. Old habits die hard, in the words of snoop dogg "you can't turn a whore into a housewife". In simple English, you cannot change a woman’s behavior, attitude or character no matter what you do. Change they say comes from within. If she doesn't see it as a problem, regardless of how many people tell her about it and the necessary solutions to take, she still would ignore it. She needs prayers, deliverance and fasting.

Women say, that all men are dogs... i PARTIALLY agree. Let me explain; Dogs always stay loyal to their caregiver. Meaning a dog would never act out of character whether or not the carergiver is around. The dog is not considered a slave but a friend, hence the term "man's best friend". The dog shares an unbreakable bond with the caregiver, in sickness and in health, the dog stays with the caregiver, even when the caregiver has nothing to offer the dog and another caregiver comes along bearing goodies, the dog never strays because the dog considers the caregiver, a part of its life force, the relationship is a two way. It is important that women should understand the mystery behind the caregiver and dog process. A man is only loyal to something he considers a part of his life. If he bonds with it, there is no going back. 

At any point, appreciation is always important. You should appreciate the big and little things but as a man, never make a woman feel more important than you, you are important also. She is not a demi god; she is a human being.  It is written in the holy book “love your neighbor as yourself…” it doesn’t translate to love your neighbor more than yourself… 

Never take another man’s girl. Never never never! If she cheated with you, she would cheat on you.

Do not fully commit to a girl that doesn’t give you everything you need, you would always carry around with you that feeling of getting less than you deserve. Yes it sounds selfish, same thing as you do not expect a girl to commit to you when you don’t give her everything she needs.

A girl would only treat you the way you allow her to. 

Are we allowed to be jealous? Love has nothing to do with jealousy, frankly i consider people who act jealous to be insecure of their place in the relationship and a bit paranoid. To some extent, a man is built to be a protector, protect whatever he loves and cherishes  which makes him act irrational in some cases but know when to draw the line. Never ever blast her cellphone with calls, messages, media files when she is out with her friends or when her ex is in town and she is not with you, it makes you look bad. You dont want to come off as being too needy and emotionally insecure. If you feel the need to call her; play a game on your phone, learn how to cook, play with matches or do something that totally waste your time. DO NOT DIAL HER NUMBER EXCEPT YOU ARE DYING!!!
She wants to know that you can trust her to have your best interest at heart in any situation. 

Never date a girl out of pity; she loves you? Yes but if you feel nothing for her, there is nothing gentlemanly about leading her on just so you do not break her heart from turning down her expression love. You can just say no to her and not start a pitiful relationship, it is all in your manner of approach. A woman would appreciate your honesty but she would respect you more based on how you go about turning her down. Ofcourse, no one rejoices after getting turned down but as a man, your choice of words really matter. Some men are so dense, they cannot communicate properly.

As a man, you should never hit a woman. A queen raised you so you should act like a prince. Couples fight and argue, if it gets heated; walk it off. 

Men take care of your hearts, do right by your lady and always make them HAPPY.