Thursday, 10 January 2013

REASON WHY MEN CHEAT


DISCLAIMER: This post is JUST AN OPINION, i do not support cheating or encourage straying but i intend on making us understand certain things we choose to ignore or deny. Alot of people wont agree but then... Please do enjoy reading this


People still wonder why men stray from a perfect relationship and settle for something less presentable to the outside world, why men would give up a loyal girl and chase after loose women, why men would ruin a perfect happy relationship for a meaningless fling or crush?? This is not because he does not have what he truly wants or that he is not truly satisfied but because it is man's nature to always sometimes want more, be adventurous and want to try something new. A careful research explains why most men stray because of the unending war between old pussy and new pussy.  Let me break down the terms for better understanding. Old pussy refers to pussy that is loyal, pussy that you are used to, pussy you are accustomed to, pussy you have been wifeyng up for a period of time, old pussy refers to pussy that would not embrace new techniques because of the comfort of old good techniques and sticking to it. Old pussy which is also known as the loyal pussy would put her man's happiness first, patient enough to deal with his drama and the bullshit that follows from his reaction to his bruised ego, cater to his everyday need, place him first before others, always supportive of his decisions even when they sound unrealistic, now this makes you wonder any man with a woman/girl that has all these qualities consciously throws its all away by going for new pussy also known "forget about me after the deed is done". Old pussy sometimes does not welcome change because they already know how it ends from the beginning and they are fine with it, there is hardly any excitement. Old pussy sometimes does not need teasing and as such you do not get to enjoy it with every given opportunities. Old pussy is predictable and sometimes a prude.
New pussy comes in different forms; the new girl at the office, new neighbour, new member of your association or club, the sexy lonely girl dancing in the club, the new girl you met on the train, at the airport, shared a cab with. New pussy is anything that is not old pussy. New pussy is adventurous and would definitely do all the things that old pussy would not do. New pussy is willing to try controversial styles and position just to please you. New pussy comes with it disadvantages, though the thrill comes from the chase, new pussy can be hard to satisfy because of their constant insatiable need. New pussy cannot be tamed. New pussy is not ride or die like old pussy, new pussy never stays loyal; they only have one aim, give you something new. New pussy never last because with time new pussy turns into old pussy and the search for a fresh new pussy begins taking you back to where you started from, having an old pussy to chill with. They say it is a man's world, which i strongly disagree and most recently a famous pop star had the rest of the world believing girls rule the world 
I absolutely do not agree with this and neither am i saying its a man's world but i do not deny the effect a new pussy has on a man and HOW it affects his world in general, a bit contradictory but if we are honest, nobody wants to manage old things we have or own, there is a constant need for renewal. We all want new things. Citing the fashion world as a reference point, no matter how much you love your old favourite pair of denim pants, you can not help but not want a new pair, though there is a sentimental attachment to the old pair, a new denim would not hurt a bit. Even love cannot stop the transition from old pussy to new pussy.... a loving happy relationship can not either, we are all fighting a battle. Some people are good at controlling their transition process and stay committed to old pussy but you cannot deny that in your heart, there is no desire to try something new. And this does not affect men alone, every now and then, a woman would crave for a new cock though comfortable with the old special kind of cock that would probably make her cum several times in a row (good luck to those who are truly gifted), but it cannot be compared to trying a new cock completely different from the loyal committed cock they are used to. A battle of NEW vs. OLD. When i say love cannot stop the transition to new pussy, i mean love can not act as a bullet proof to wade off the desires of having new pussy. New pussy knows how to get you in a tight corner or spot; working late or just having lunch that turns into a daily routine, watching movies at the cinema. New pussy understands your weakness, embraces it and provides temporary solace and comfort. Ever wondered how come it is only when you are not in good terms with your significant other, a new pussy is just lurking around the corner ready to pounce on you the attention you so bad crave for. Few men really intend on staying committed to their loyal pussy but they lack the proper tactical skills on how to say NO to new pussy offered on a steak with extra gravy. We understand that sometimes it baffles our mind as to how a man would creep on his model like girlfriend with someone less deserving, the truth is new pussy may not be entirely beautiful, perfect, sexy, a fashionista, eloquent. New pussy just feels "NEW". A loving relationship is not a magical force field that protects you from new pussy. So how do we deal with this new pussy pandemonium?? a lot of (okoro's) young brothers be getting married so they stay committed and not stray but usually that does not work because new pussy has no respect for commitment, marriage, relationships, soul mates. New pussy is toxic and an also addictive. Posing as a relieving aid to get us off that edge of frustration or boredom. The key here is discipline. Not necessarily the ability to cut yourself off people, isolating yourself to a circle of few friends you can trust, that does not help either. New pussy can come in different forms, even the friend you really trust. Point blank, any pussy you have not had yet, is a new pussy. 
Discipline is the key, the inexplicable strength to walk away empty from a room full of gold. Discipline does not deny the existence of new pussy, it accepts the reality of new pussy coming in different forms with practical situation that is almost impossible to walk away from. Discipline helps you control the urge, it helps with not acting on your desire to want new pussy not because you can not have it if you really wanted it but because you DO NOT NEED IT! Hence it is of no value to you. Oh and if you so bad crave for some new pussy, try spicing up your old loyal pussy with new tricks, techniques, go on sexual retreats.. it is a technical process known as pussy conversion. Try something new!  Peace!

Sunday, 6 January 2013

THE BIG BANG




DISCLAIMER: This post may or may not be based on true events, but the purpose is purely to entertain. Enjoy!




Over £1000 spent in 3 days on just dinner. The painment. Boys are not smiling. 
4 days ago, I bumped into this ex model at Westfield Shepherd’s Bush, summary; we exchanged pins and numbers, called her the next day we talked, agreed to meet for dinner, Le Gavroche at 8pm.
A French restaurant in Mayfair, Dinner was good, had few drinks and I called a cab to take her home, we had dinner two more nights and I felt this was my defining moment. Anything French had a hint of romance in it; the scenery of the restaurant had a good vibe to it. On the third night of our date, I called a cab for her, and just when she was about to leave, she invited me to her place for a nightcap. Every thirsty man knows what a nightcap means, that short window you have to prove to her why she needs to sleep with you and not regret it in the morning. We get to her house, she offered me chocolate beverage while handing me a photo album, and time for story telling. I became weak, like what is going on? Few minutes into family history, we started kissing, and then someone’s phone rings out. What sort of sorcery is this, earlier on, i had taken out my battery of my phones in the cab because of this moment, no distractions. How come this little mini cock teaser left her phone on, we tried to ignore it but the person calling wanted to make sure I was not going to get lucky tonight. She finally decided to take the call, the caller was an ex, but of course how come I didn’t see this happening. The feeling was too good to be true. The conversation got intense; a lot of swear words most especially the word “shit” was over used. For some reason they seemed to be talking about her “self control”. (for the record, I strongly assumed that this hard to do with how easy she was ready to put out which ofcourse had to be some kind of miracle for me, I never realized that it was a warning sign to my downfall). She asked to be excused and went into her bedroom to continue the conversation and that was the last time I saw her, I waited for what seemed to be an hour, went to check up on her when I stopped hearing voices and found her sleeping on her bed, my brothers I was truly forgotten. I got home and made up my mind never to see her again.
Next morning decided to check my account balance and I noticed what I spent on dinner in 3 days.  I was about to drown myself with a bottle of whiskey to mourn, “The one that got away” when I heard my phone ring, I ignored it but she kept on calling. I played it cool and picked up, she said she wanted to apologize in person, she needed to see me so I made my way to her house, this time I was not even interested in her poon box, she buzzed me in, I got into the living room, saw her on the couch, carefully positioning her assets. Boobs, ass and hips. From apologizing to kissing me and saying rotten rubbish in my ears, I lost my moral value, we ended up Butt naked, as a real G, I strapped up. This was going to be a bumpy ride. She volunteered out of the kindness of her heart to ride me, so I let her, it got a bit intense and I was just enjoying the moment when I perceived a foul stench, I ignored it because of her beautiful face, I am man full of compassion but the odor grew stronger every passing minute, she noticed too. I figured she farted but I didn’t care. This time, everything on southside lane, her thighs, and my groin area was moist, my hand smeared in what I believed was poon box juice, and she stopped riding me. Chilled for a bit and then got off my dick, while standing over me walked to my face and she decided it was in my best interest to face sit on me, as she attempted to squat, a gush of gooey smelly substance escaped out of her crotch area and was sprayed unevenly on my chest and neck. Fuck, the odor. She practically took a dump on me. I lay there like a dead man, lifeless. My body still in shock, I screamed like a girl. Oh no, this is not happening. No obo is worth this kind of fuckery. While attempting to wipe it off with my hand like that was going to help, I discovered more liquid shit residue on my hands. She decided to rush to the bathroom, in her attempt to do that, she sprayed her white Egyptian rug with chocolate goodness. You could see the trail, the road that leads to “el do rado”. Then it came to me like an epiphany, they over used the word “shit” a lot, and they talked about her not having “self control”. I should have been smart enough to figure this out. She apologized and told me about her IBS (IRRITABLE BOWEL SYNDROME).
Suffice to say we went our separate ways and never spoke to each other again but this is what really hurt me, I spent over 1G on a girl to take a dump on me. I am not that kinky! If I wanted shit to be smeared on me so bad, since I am not lactose tolerant, I would buy “cravendale milk” from tesco £1.90, drink it, wait for it to kick in, poo on my hand and then rub it on my chest and neck. Saving a lot of ££.

Moral of the story, before having sex, always ask about their shit history. If they suffer from diarrhea or IBS, approach with caution. And strongly advise they take a long dump before sex, in most cases administer to your date 2 tabs of tetracycline, 1 tab of buscopan and 1 tab of flagyl one hour before sex.